Welcome to the show folks...
Today, three stories of tears being shed, so break out your tissues.
DON'T CRY FOR NBC JEFF ZUCKER
Jeff Zucker the outgoing, and by that I mean going out the door, honcho of NBC-Universal has been holding little town hall meetings with NBC staffers, and has been weeping at these meetings.
Why is Jeff Zucker crying?
Here are my theories...
1. He's suddenly realized that he can't fail upwards
anymore.
2. He might actually have to work for a living.
3. He can no longer feed his addiction to taking the #1 broadcast network in the country and putting it behind Nickelodeon.
4. He couldn't work out one of those "production shingle" deals that most exiting Network-Studio CEOs get.
5. He doesn't have a network full of people to kick around anymore.
Put your own theories in the comments....
CLINTON CRIES
Former President Bill Clinton will be filming a cameo for The Hangover 2. He wept when he found out the film was not going to be a documentary.
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO CRY
It's that time of year again. To most it's the time when People Magazine names their choice for Sexiest Man Alive, or as it's called in my house: Passover.
This year they picked Ryan Reynolds over me.
Now I simply must call the integrity of the whole Sexiest Man Alive selection process into question.
How could they pick this guy, Ryan Reynolds....
Over this guy, ME....
I mean the choice is obvious, isn't it?
So how can they possibly choose that dingus Canadian over this dingus Canadian?
The answer is simple.
People Magazine is owned by Time Warner, and this week also marked the release of the trailer for the movie Green Lantern, from Warner Bros. Pictures which is also owned by the Time Warner empire.
Today, three stories of tears being shed, so break out your tissues.
DON'T CRY FOR NBC JEFF ZUCKER
Jeff Zucker the outgoing, and by that I mean going out the door, honcho of NBC-Universal has been holding little town hall meetings with NBC staffers, and has been weeping at these meetings.
Why is Jeff Zucker crying?
Here are my theories...
1. He's suddenly realized that he can't fail upwards
anymore.2. He might actually have to work for a living.
3. He can no longer feed his addiction to taking the #1 broadcast network in the country and putting it behind Nickelodeon.
4. He couldn't work out one of those "production shingle" deals that most exiting Network-Studio CEOs get.
5. He doesn't have a network full of people to kick around anymore.
Put your own theories in the comments....
CLINTON CRIES
Former President Bill Clinton will be filming a cameo for The Hangover 2. He wept when he found out the film was not going to be a documentary.
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO CRY
It's that time of year again. To most it's the time when People Magazine names their choice for Sexiest Man Alive, or as it's called in my house: Passover.
This year they picked Ryan Reynolds over me.
Now I simply must call the integrity of the whole Sexiest Man Alive selection process into question.
How could they pick this guy, Ryan Reynolds....
Over this guy, ME....
I mean the choice is obvious, isn't it?So how can they possibly choose that dingus Canadian over this dingus Canadian?
The answer is simple.
IT'S A SINISTER CORPORATE CONSPIRACY!!!
People Magazine is owned by Time Warner, and this week also marked the release of the trailer for the movie Green Lantern, from Warner Bros. Pictures which is also owned by the Time Warner empire.
Coincidence?
I think not!
It's obvious to me that People Magazine doesn't believe in honoring men on the merit of their raw sexual power, or that would be ME on that cover. Instead, they are just a pack of whores shilling some no name yahoo over this piece of Grade A Beefcake...
Control yourselves ladies... there's plenty of me to go around.
So I demand a complete Senate investigation into this horrific injustice!, and the arrest, prosecution, and imprisonment of those responsible!!!
Who's with me?
I think not!
It's obvious to me that People Magazine doesn't believe in honoring men on the merit of their raw sexual power, or that would be ME on that cover. Instead, they are just a pack of whores shilling some no name yahoo over this piece of Grade A Beefcake...
Control yourselves ladies... there's plenty of me to go around.So I demand a complete Senate investigation into this horrific injustice!, and the arrest, prosecution, and imprisonment of those responsible!!!
Who's with me?
*crickets*
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