Monday 25 January 2010

Hollywood Babble On & On #438: New Lease On Life, Or Just A Stay Of Execution?

Welcome to the show folks...

The folks over at the Weinstein Co. have taken a break from layoffs and counting how much money they lost with Nine to announce that the company has a "new lease on life." Since they haven't been revealed as secret shareholders in Avatar, you have to wonder what's got then out of the $500 million hole the company's in.

Well, they didn't get out of the hole, they just stopped digging it any deeper for now.

The company's creditors, headed by the Ziff Brothers Investments and Goldman Sachs, are just staying their hand from dropping the axe and giving TWC a shot at making at least some money. For now at least, nothing's written in stone, so it has to be as solid as an NBC talk show deal. However, I think I know why the creditors have decided to play along with this for now... you see, I'm secretly psychic and I can send my brain through time and space, and listen in on the conference call where the foundations of this potential

Here's how it went....

HARVEY: Okay, I want to stop paying off TWC's debts until the company gets back on its feet.

CREDITORS: Wait a minute, we've been more than patient with your company, and have given you every chance, we have a plan that--

HARVEY: ARE YOU F*CKING THREATENING ME!?! YOU WANT YOUR F*CKING MONEY!?! THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO F*CKING DIG FOR IT! THAT'S RIGHT F*CKFACE! I'LL F*CKING BANKRUPT THE COMPANY AND YOU'LL GET LESS THAN SH*T UNLESS YOU GIMME WHAT I WANT! I'LL F*CKING DO IT! I'LL TRASH THIS WHOLE F*CKING OPERATION AND BURN THE WHOLE F*CKING THING TO THE F*CKING GROUND! AND DON'T LOOK TO AMBAC TO INSURE YOUR DEBT, BECAUSE THEY'RE THIS CLOSE TO GOING T*T'S UP TOO! SO YOU DO WHAT I WANT, OR YOU'LL END UP WITH F*CKING NUTHIN'! DON'T F*CKING PUSH ME, BECAUSE I'LL F*CKING DO IT!

CREDITORS: (exasperated & exhausted) Fine, better to get at least something out of this disaster than nothing.

HARVEY: Don't see how being reasonable makes everything easier. (to secretary) Send them a muffin basket. Pay for it? How the hell do we f*cking pay for things!?! Put on the f*cking credit card! (to Creditors) Where were we?

CREDITORS: We were wondering if we should have invested in NBC instead.
So I think now is a good time to look at the pros and cons of keeping the Weinstein Co. afloat.

PROS:

1. Harvey Weinstein has a track record of putting out shrewdly niche marketed and carefully budgeted indie films that win awards and make profits that range from modest to bountiful.

2. Bob Weinstein's Dimension Films brand has a track record of shrewdly marketed, carefully budgeted, and occasionally subversive and clever, genre films that make a profit at worst, or pay off as huge blockbusters at best.

3. They have a track record of acquiring independent movies, making them successful, and launching the careers of actors and filmmakers.

CONS:

1. It's been a long time since any of Harvey's
"indie" films could be described as carefully budgeted or shrewdly marketed. Many of the company's recent releases have been better known for having budgets that greatly outweigh their potential audience, which are then either released big like a studio blockbuster, or only given a bare minimum showing, before disappearing. Basically the company is paying too much, for too little reward outside of the slim chance that Harvey might get another Oscar notch on his belt. Oscar wins don't translate into box-office bumps the way they used to, and putting your hopes on a statuette is as likely as the tooth fairy to pay off.

2. Dimension Films has been having its own problems. It's been a long time since it's done the sort of
Scream level business and dominated the smaller budget genre market and the company's overall troubles are hindering its ability to properly market those films.

3. The time when the Weinsteins "made" filmmakers is long past. Now they're better known for being a nightmare to make a deal with, chopping films to suit their whims, making life hell for the poor filmmakers, and then dumping the films in the DVD discount bin, if they're lucky. If they're unlucky, they may never get off the shelf. They can't even keep Robert Rodriguez, who was practically born at Miramax, and whose next film
Machete, is a classic Dimension genre film, in the family. He's now moved onto Fox. In fact, TWC didn't even have either the will or the money to bid for the film, let alone buy it and get it into theaters. Anyone, outside of the occasional actor looking for an Oscar nom, would be crazy to go into business with them.

So you'll have to forgive my cynicism when I say that I consider this a stay of execution and not a reprieve.

2 comments:

  1. D, I'm curious how it even gets to that point? While I'm sure I missed your fabulous explanation, just going by say... this post, it seems like the Wiesteins went from smart business to insanity. Were they replaced by pod people or what makes successful businesses just stop doing what works?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Short answer: Ego.

    Long answer is a post all on its own.

    ReplyDelete